13th December 2007 – Day 204 – 26th & 27th Weigh-in

Again, I’ve been very lax on the updating, it’s just been so busy and then when I wanted to do an update yesterday, the system at work was taken down so I couldn’t do it. It’s up and running again, don’t know how long for so thought I’d do a quick catch up and let you know how I’m getting on.

I’m finding it hard on the dieting still, but I seem to be managing my weight quite well. I will have things to eat, but now I sort of compromise and have smaller amounts or if I’ve had a naughty I won’t have a food pack. Whereas before LL I would have had the naughty and just carried on eating regardless of what I’d had previously and if I was hungry or not. Now, I find I don’t eat if I’m not hungry, which is what I did in the past and how I got to be so big in the first place.

Anyway, my previous weigh-in on the 4th December I lost 1.76lbs and the other night (11th December) I lost 2.2lbs, which I was so happy about. In total I’ve lost 90.8lbs and I’m 2lbs away from my 6½ stone loss. So, if I can be quite good this week I’ll hopefully, fingers crossed, get that at next weeks weigh-in.

Tomorrow I have my posh works Christmas meal, which I bought my dress for, which I’m really looking forward to. I’ll get some photos taken of my all dressed up and I will get them posted on here. This may have to be after Christmas (in-between Christmas & New Year) as it’s just so busy at weekends with getting Allan’s house ready for Christmas as this year we are hosting Christmas dinner as it was only going to be us and his Mum, but his cousin & girlfriend have invited themselves over so there’ll be 5 of us. That should be fun as we’ve never done the dinner before, but I think I’ve got everything ordered/ in control.

When I post my dressed up photos I’ll make sure I also put the Disneyland ones on too as my blog is seriously lacking in pictures at the moment.

The lump is to be going down, so the antibiotics seemed to have worked. It’s still there, but much, much smaller now, which is good news, but I’m still keeping an eye on it and if it doesn’t go completely I’ll be back to the doctors.

Tonight I’m off to the hairdressers to have my highlights put in. I think this year I’ll have some red put in again as I had this done a few years ago and loved it.

My sister and I put up our decorations last night too and this year our whole tree is decorated with Christmas ornaments which we’ve bought from whatever place we’ve travelled too. We started a tradition that wherever we’ve been, we buy a Christmas decoration, so the new ones this year are from New York and Disneyland Paris. We’ve also got a glass Santa on a gondolier from Venice, a beautiful bauble from Chicago, black bears tangled in Christmas lights from Canada and a snowman made out of clear dice from Las Vegas to name a few.

It’s a lovely tradition now as it brings so many memories back whenever we unwrap them.

Anyway, I hope your all doing well and again I’ll try & catch up on your blogs soon. I had a quick look at yours Lesley and your new bedroom looks fantastic.

28th November 2007 – Day 189 – 25th Weigh-In

Well, I went back to LL class last night for my weigh-in after my binge over the last week and I actually lost weight. I was amazed and again had to get back onto the scales to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

I lost 1.54lbs (total 86.3lbs) which means I’ve lost 6 stone 2lbs in total. I can’t quite believe it, but I’ve only got about another stone and a half to go. Although, I may go into management if I lose another stone but I will only do this if I get totally fed up with LL and am very happy with how I look and weigh.

I feel much more in control now and not craving food like I was over the last couple of week, this has happened after I went to see the doctor last Monday. The reason for this was because I found a small lump in my breast, which to be honest I wasn’t worried about, but I think I must have been subconsciously, which brought out the binge eater in me as I was really craving cakes/ sweets, well anything really. Now I know I’ve had my picking over the weekends, but that was nothing compared to this.

Anyway, I went to the doctors and he doesn’t think it’s anything to be worried about and he’s put me on a 2 week course of antibiotics, which should sort it out, but if the lump is still there after the 2 weeks, then he’ll send me for a scan.

I feel much more in control of the diet now and I noticed yesterday that I wasn’t craving food again, I’m happy having my packs. It really shows how I cope with emotional/ stressful things with eating and it’s definitely something that needs to be kept an eye on in the future, especially when I do get back to eating properly.

Anyway, tomorrow Nich & I aren’t walking as we’re having a mini fashion show with our dresses for our Christmas parties. I need Nich’s advice about what jewellery/ shoes and little bolero jackets to wear with my dress and she’s going to do the same. Allan is hopeless at this sort of thing and I’m really looking forward to our girly night in.

Hope you’re all doing well.

26th November 2007 – Day 187

Hello, I’m back to blogging again.

I’ve been having a really tough time with sticking to LL lately and on more than one occasion, have come off completely. I’m nearly back on track now, fingers crossed. I was so bad the other week I didn’t even go to weigh-in, which I know doesn’t help, but it’s what I needed to do to try & get myself back on track again (strange I know, but I’m getting there). I seemed to have complete binges on a few occasions where I just carried on eating, even though I didn’t really want/ need it. I am definitely going to weigh-in tomorrow though, it might shock me into keeping on track!!!

I also know I should have carried on blogging as you are all such a great tower of strength for us dieters that are slipping, as we’ve all been there, so I’ll try and update my blog more frequently.

The only thing I’m having now, which is not on the diet and seems to be helping me through this tough spell I’m in at the mo is one or two of those little cappuccino sachets. It’s not ideal, but it’s helping me stay away from eating a prawn salad, two pieces of chicken and packet of 4 chocolate muffins in one go (and not mini ones at that)!!!!! It did make me feel a bit ill though after all that, so that serves me right.

Anyway, Disneyland Paris; Allan & I had a fabulous time and yes, I did eat and I enjoyed myself. The weather was great, for the first two days it was cold but the sky was a beautiful blue. The last day it was even colder & was grey but it was still great and at least it didn’t rain. Took loads and loads of pictures, which I’ll post some shortly and yes, had my photo taken with Mickey & Tigger (Tigger being my fave, which I was very excited about). We both loved travelling on Eurostar and want to go on the train, this time from the new Eurostar station as the company I work for now built the ceiling for it. Hopefully we’ll travel on it next year somewhere for a short break.

I did go to be weighed after my little break and I only put on 0.2lbs, which I was absolutely ecstatic about and had to get back on the scales to see if they were lying or not, which they weren’t….wayhay!!! Now you would have thought this would have kept me on track, which unfortunately it didn’t, but as I said, I’m getting there.

Anyway, this weekend I went dress shopping, which I was really, really excited about. I have a posh works Christmas do to go to, which I’ll certainly be eating at as the menu looks amazing and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford eating in place like this again (unless I win the lottery that is). So, I decided I wanted to wear a lovely dress, as before LL if I wanted to get something posh it would be a struggle to find something and you just made do with what you could get. I never bought dresses though as my boobs were so huge I had to buy a tent just to go over them.

Well, this time shopping, it was great (I still haven’t gone out to shop for new clothes yet, everything I wear at the moment has been given to me, apart from the odd couple of cheapy tops that I’ve bought).

It was certainly different this time, as everything I tried on looked nice and it was such a change to not have to search at the back of the clothes hanging up to find the largest size.

Anyway, I took into the changing room 5 different dresses in sizes 16 & 14 and every dress in size 14 fitted, I was gobsmacked.

The one that I bought is a simple black dress, which is fitted on the bodice, and sort of flares out a bit at the bottom (it’s not a long dress, but it’s below the knee) and it swishes lovely. The funny thing is though, it’s a puffball………now I never had a puff ball skirt when they first came out in the 80’s (had my ra-ra skirts), and I always thought I would never ever own a puffball as I thought they were just plain daft, well, how wrong was I, as I loved it.

The thing that swung me into buying it though (as all the dresses were nice) was when I stepped out of the cubicle, with my sparkly black heels on, to find Joan (Allan’s Mum) to see what she thought, were the ladies that were queuing up to try things on. Loads of them said to me “That looks stunning/ lovely on you” and things like that. Now I’ve never had strangers in a changing room say this to me before, and Al’s Mum said I looked amazing. Even when I was walking out of the changing room, one of the ladies still queuing stopped me to say it really did looked stunning on me. This boosted my confidence so much and I can’t wait until I get to goal or nearly at goal until I do my big clothes shop.

I also bought a little black, sparkly crochet bolero as the dress only has thin straps and I wanted to cover the tops of my arms, which I need to take back & change as for some reason I bought a size 16 instead of a 14. Think this may have something to do with trying it on with all my clothes on, plus the dress on the hanger hanging over my head and then the bolero over that, it felt fine then (if not a little strange), but with just the dress, it’s a bit big. I’ll post a picture of me all dolled up on the evening (14th December) so you can see what I’ve been enthusing about.

I have set myself another mini target of trying to lose another stone before Christmas, which is 4 weeks tomorrow, can’t believe it’s so close, so I hope that now I’m back to posting on my blog and I can keep myself in check, I can reach this target, or at least get very close to it.

Well, I suppose I’d better get on and do some work and I’ll try and catch up on all your blogs over the week.

Hope your all doing OK.

1st November 2007 – Day 162 – 23rd Weigh-In

I’ve been struggling lately with nibbling which you know about, admittedly only when I’m down at Allan’s for the weekend as I find I can be so much stricter with myself at work and home.

I was thinking about why I was doing this when I was driving back to my place Sunday night and also talked it over with Nich during our walk on Monday and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because I’m actually liking the person I see in the mirror now. It’s no excuse I know, but at the moment it’s the only conclusion I can work out as to why I’m doing it.

I wrote this in an e-mail to Mum and have printed it out & highlighted it for me to keep to hand, but I thought I’d put it down here too.

“I think one of the reasons I’m nibbling is because I’m feeling so much better about myself and also I’m liking what I see in the mirror. When I started LL I really hated myself and the way I looked, so had that determination to change myself, but because I’m getting happy with how I’m looking I might be thinking that this little bit won’t hurt, which is wrong, because if I keep doing it, then I could get back to square one. Also all the comments I get now are how great I’m looking and you don’t need to lose much more weight do you?, which is nice, but doesn’t help with sticking to the diet”

I’ve decided to get Allan to scan one of my fat photos in to print off, so I can stick it somewhere in the kitchen with “If I nibble, I’ll end up like this again” or something like this written on it. I don’t actually have any of my fat photos at his place, so maybe it might do the trick or at least make me think about what I’m doing.

Saturday, I had my first proper bit of eating at a restaurant. We’d been out all day and Al was going to get a burger, but had no money on him & they didn’t accept credit cards, so we ended up at a Mexican restaurant. I then decided that I will have something, so spent ages poring over the menu to work out what would be best and decided on chicken fajitas as these were just chicken, onion, pepper and the wraps.

When they arrived I took my time, using a minimal amount of sour cream & salsa with the chicken & onions and then eating slowly, whilst sipping my water (which I didn’t even notice until half-way through that it had a slice of lemon in it, a no no in LL’s eyes). Anyway, I really enjoyed it and was listening to my body to see if it told me if I was full or not, which it didn’t seem to be telling my anything to be honest. I did just have 2 fajitas, although there was enough to make 4, and felt really happy with that. I could have easily finished off the other 2, but to be honest, I didn’t want to make a complete pig of myself and make myself feel really bloated, which I didn’t. I also didn’t feel hungry until at least 9pm when I made up a chocolate mouse out of my food pack.

Anyway, back to the weigh-in last Tuesday and I spent ages telling my LLC my deductions on my nibbling and also eating a meal. Then stepped on the scales quite expecting to put on or at least stayed the same. I was very surprised when I’d actually lost 3.08lbs (total 83.4lbs) and my BMI is now 29.25.

I won’t be getting weighed next week though as on Monday Allan & I are off to Disneyland Paris for 3 days, which I’m so looking forward to as it’s our only holiday of the year, so intend to make the most of it.

I will be taking my food packs with me, but have decided to eat a meal in the evening, although I have told Allan that it has to be in a proper restaurant, not a fast food place. He can eat where he likes in the day, but dinner has to be in a restaurant. I’ve also said to myself though, that if I do decide to have breakfast & lunch, I’m really not going to beat myself up about it as I’ve done far better than I thought I would on LL and it is my only holiday, so I’m going to enjoy myself. OK, I’m not going to go mad, I will make sensible choices, or at least I hope I can trust myself to make the right choice as, yes, I want to enjoy myself, but I don’t want to go mad and undo all the hard work I’ve done.

So, hope you’re all doing well and have a good weekend.

25th October 2007 - Part 2

I can't believe I forgot to say, I'm now no longer morbidly obese or obese, I am overweight, how fab is that.

Anyway, if I don't get on here tomorrow, hope you all have a good weekend.

25th October 2007 – Day 155 – 22nd Weigh-In

Well, had my weigh-in and YAY, I did lose. Thought I’d sabotaged it a bit what with the nibbling at the weekend and not drinking enough water due to changing jobs and getting out of my routine.

I seem to have a routine at work now regarding the water intake and can manage 4 litres while I’m there and then at least a litre in the evening. Work is still going well and I’m really enjoying it, although I have noticed that I’m not running up and down the stairs like I used to in my previous job. I am going out walking every lunch time though, so hopefully this’ll make up for the lack of up & down stairs walking!!

Anyway, I lost 2.42lbs (total 80.32lbs) and have reached my 5.5 stone loss, which I’m so happy about.

So, now only have 2 stone 1lb to go, unless I start to get skinny, as I want to still be curvy, all be it smaller curves, I don’t want to end up skinny. I’ve told Allan that if I start to look that way then to tell me, which I know he will.

Also, I got myself measured last week to hopefully cheer myself up as my first gain and also it had been a while since I’d last had it done.

So, the total inches I’ve lost so far are: -

10” from my chest

9¾” from my waist

11¼” from my hips

15th October 2007

Chest: 41½”

Waist: 34”

Hips: 42”

22nd August 2007

Chest: 43 ¾”

Waist: 36 ½”

Hips: 45 ¾”

18th July 2007

Chest: 47”

Waist: 39”

Hips: 48”

20th June 2007

Chest: 48”

Waist: 40 ½”

Hips: 50 ½”

23rd May 2007

Chest: 51 ½”

Waist: 43 ¾”

Hips: 53 ¼”

Hopefully this weekend I can combat the nibbling, repeating to myself a line from one of Mrs L’s posts “Don’t let a blip become a trend” as this seems to be happening at the moment. Fingers crossed it’ll work and make me think about what I’m doing.

22nd October 2007 – Day 152

Well, had my first full week at my new job, which has gone really well. There was a temp here to show me the ropes for most of the week, and I seem to pick things up very quickly. I am here on my own now and all is well. The guys here seem really lovely (yes, I work in a company full of blokes!!)

So, I’m now starting my second week……

Anyway, back to the diet, had my weigh-in last Tuesday, which didn’t go well as I had my first gain - yes, still the nibbling at weekends, still trying to combat them. I keep trying and actually took a bit of bread out of my mouth at the weekend (yes, I know it’s disgusting, but I suppose I didn’t swallow it!!) I did do a bit of nibbling this weekend, but hopefully not as bad as last weekend.

The gain was only about ¼ lb, but that’s not the point, it’s still a gain, so have to try and get myself on track. I think now I have to work a day at a time, especially at weekends and try to get through these without picking.

The other thing I’ve noticed, since I’ve started this job is that I haven’t been drinking enough water. I’ve been managing the 4 litres, but that’s about it. When I was working in my old job, I’d got into a routine and could easily manage 5.5 to 6 litres a day. I suppose I’ll get there with my routine again, but it’ll take time. I couldn’t even make it up the water drinking at the weekend as I rushed off on Friday leaving my flavourings at work. I was so annoyed at myself, but there was nothing I could do as I was already on the motorway before I realised. I did just about get the 4 litres in, but it was a real struggle.

I have however managed to do more walking as I make sure I walk every lunchtime for at least ½ to ¾ of an hour, plus I did walking Thursday evening with Nich.

This weekend was good, we took Barney swimming and then I was helping Allan with the deck, it’s still not finished but is getting there. He was cutting the curve over the pond and spent ages making up jigs & templates and then finally set to work cutting the deck. It looks great and we’re really pleased with it and now I can’t wait for him to put the little LED lights round the edge.

I did do some cooking, even though I swore I wasn’t going to this weekend end as I wanted to use up the apples, so made Apple Crump from the recipe from the show on ITV – Britain’s Best Dish. It was so easy to make and I did decide to try a taster and it was delish, Allan and his Mum loved it and said I can make this again anytime. If I do make it again, I will have to make sure I won’t have some as I’ve already tried it the once.

So, once again I’m hoping I haven’t ruined this week’s dieting with my nibbling and I wish I can get back to how determined I was at the start of LL. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still very, very determined, but I want to get back to not even trying/ tasting anything, so I can get to my goal as quickly as possible.

Nearly forgot, good news, the car seems to working again after being in the garage 3 times last week, they seem to have solved the problems.....eventually....YAY.

Anyway, I hope you all had a good weekend. I haven’t had a chance to catch up on your blogs yet as I was busy helping Al, but I’ll try throughout the week.

14th October 2007 - Day 144

Barney on the deck

Allan & Barney - deck isn't finished yet though.

The deck in progress

Have had a good weekend and only nibbled a little yesterday. Saturday we took Allan's Mum to the farm shop where we get the fantastic meat. His Mum loved it and bought loads and Al got a little too. I did do a bit of cooking (potato & mushroom gratin), which Al said was lovely and I've put the rest in the freezer for another day, also to save me picking too much.

Allan's been doing a bit more to the deck, which I thought I'd post a picture of as it's taken up a lot of the last few weekend, so you can see what I'm talking about. Today, we also went sloe picking and found a fab place, which had loads of really big ones. Although to be honest I wasn't quite sure if they were sloes and Allan wasn't that sure either, so we then had to take them over to a friends to check with them and we weren't going to poison anyone!! They were, so it'll be full steam ahead on the sloe gin making, well, as soon as I get the gin that is.

I got my car back but I'm really not happy with it. As I was driving down the motorway, as soon as I hit 70mph the warning light , yes, the same warning light that was supposed to be fixed, started flashing at me again, the whole journey down to Allan's. When I got to his, I immediately phoned the garage, who said to bring it back in, of which I couldn't as I'm an hours drive away and here for the weekend. To make matters worse, my sister called me in the evening to say I'm leaking oil....I checked where I had the car parked and it was, couldn't believe it. Not only doesn't the job seem to be done properly, it's worse as it's leaking!!!!! The garage was also advised of this and they are going to pick my car up from my new job to take another look at it. Not a great way to start a new job, but I can't do much about it unfortunately.

Anyway, the girls at work gave me a nice send off and bought me a lovely bouquet of flowers.

So, I'll be making my journey back down to my house soon, hopefully without incident or breaking down and then starting the new job.

I hope you've all had a good weekend and a good week, as I won't be able to check in on your blogs till the weekend.

12th October 2007 – Day 142

Introducting Harry

I got my car back evening, so now safe to drive around again and I can drive down to Allan’s after work today.

Well, it’s my last day here in this job and I probably won’t be able to post as much after this weekend – until I get used/ suss out the new place that is. I’ve bought lots of cakes for the girls in the office and for myself I’ve cut up one of the cranberry & raspberry crunch bars into little pieces and treated myself to a bottle of sparkling water. As Allan said last night when I told him ‘I really know how to live it up!!’ I certainly won’t be eating any of the cakes though and for me, sparkling water is a treat as I only have this when we go out as then it’s something different.

I’m a bit sad to be leaving as the girls here are so lovely and I’m also a bit apprehensive about starting a new job, but, there was no security in being a temp and there didn’t look like there’d be any chance of being made permanent as the university are cutting back and not taking on anyone at the moment. I know my boss would have made me permanent like a shot if she could, so that’s really nice to know.

The other night little Harry cat had to go to the vets to have his annual jabs & check over, which he got a clean bill of health. The vet then told us we have to start to clean his teeth at least once a week!!!!! Not with just the dentistix things that they chew on, but with some solution & a toothbrush!!!!!

Well, we decided to give it a go last night, so I was holding him on the kitchen worktop, trying to prise his mouth open. For a little thing, they can really clamp their jaws together!! My sister had the job of trying to clean his teeth with the toothbrush, which is huge for a little mouth, but has a very long handle – I suppose to keep your hand away from a biting cat.

Harry really wasn’t going to play ball though, don’t blame him to be honest. He’s a little old boy & to suddenly have this brush thrust in his mouth whilst being held down isn’t much fun.

So, we tried, but failed miserably and Harry was very quick to scarper out the house in case we came at him again. I really don’t know how we’re going to be able to do this every week. I think he might have to have the dentistix things everyday instead.

10th October 2007 – Day 140 – 20th Weigh-In

It was a day of good news & bad news yesterday.

Had a disaster in the afternoon but thankfully not diet wise, the problem was with the car. When I was driving home at lunchtime I kept getting a warning light flashing at me & it felt like the car was going to cut out on me as soon as I took my foot of the accelerator. When I eventually got home I looked up what the warning light was – failure of the injection system and then phoned the garage. He said to take it down straight away and they’ll do a check on it.

Well, I was sitting there for about 2 hours, with no water, but thank god I’d stuffed one of the bars in my bag before I rushed out again, which I could nibble on as the waiting room had biscuits, coffee, chocolate & juice, but no water!!! I’d also forgotten to take a bottle of water with me, so really didn’t drink much yesterday at all.

Eventually the man came to give me the bad news & the head gasket has gone/ going, which needs sorting out urgently as I couldn’t drive the car much as it could go at anytime and is going to be very costly. So, my little car is in the garage this morning and hopefully I’ll be getting it back on Friday, if not, he’s going to sort me out a courtesy car for the weekend.

The good news is, I lost 6.38lbs (total 75.92lbs) and now weigh 12stone 2lbs. I couldn’t believe it. Unfortunately I couldn’t stay to class as my Mum came over straight from work to take me to be weighed & pick up my food. I think she was just as amazed as I was at how much I’d lost. That’s my biggest loss, apart from the first week that I’ve had since I started LL.

It has spurred me on again though to control my nibbling at the weekends as it really goes to show that if I don’t nibble, the weight will hopefully come off faster. I know that’s not always the case as your body does strange things like holding onto water and stuff like that, but if I keep saying it, I’ll hopefully curb the nibbling/ picking.

7th October 2007 - Day 137

Well, as you can see, I've had my 5 stone photos done (well, smidgen off pics) and I'm so glad I have as it's spurred me on again. I haven't picked or nibbled at all today. They've also made me realise that I actually look slim, I still couldn't see myself as being this slim. I know I've lost weight and I'm a lot smaller than I was, but I still felt big. Just seeing these though have changed the way I see myself a bit.

Also, these are the size 14 trousers I was wearing for my interview the other week, still can't quite get my head round it, I can wear a size 14!!!!!

I had a good day yesterday, but I made my lemon cakes so I could freeze them & then take them into work on Friday, but they turned out so bad that there's no way I can take them in. Don't know what's up with my cake making skills lately!! Anyway, I was tasting the mixture, on quite a few occasions, then when the cakes were out of the oven & cooled a bit, I cut one open to see if they were OK (which obviously they weren't), I ate a bit (still tasted lovely though) and then I kept eating bits!!!! In the end I just put them in the bin and decided that I won't even attempt to make anymore as it wasn't worth putting my diet at risk anymore. I'm so glad I did.

So, hopefully, I haven't done too much damage and instead of two days of nibbling like the last couple of weekends, I've only had one day, so a bit of progress there.

Allan had been working on the deck most of the weekend again, it's getting there, but still lots to do. Poor thing, I haven't even cooked for him this time either, but he's been so good about it, which is a great help.

Hope your all having a good weekend.

4th October 2007 – Day 134 – 19th Weigh-In

I GOT THE JOB…!!!!!

I found out just after I last posted but have been busy at work that couldn’t post till now. I couldn’t believe it when the agency phoned, I’m so pleased as this was the first time I’d come out of an interview really wanting the job. It seemed such a nice company & the two guys interviewing me seemed so nice. So, I start on Monday, 15th October, so I may not be able to post much after then, or until I’ve been there for a while & sussed the place out. I’ll have to make it up & catch up with all your blogs at the weekends.

So, back to weigh-in, I lost 1.32lbs (total 69.54lbs) so just a smidgen to go until my 5 stone loss, it’ll definitely be next week, although I am going to be making lemon cakes at the weekend to freeze ready to take into work for next Friday, my last day!!!! I won’t be eating any, I probably won’t have a chance as I made some for my birthday this year and the whole lot went so fast, it was unbelievable, which is good news for me & the diet.

Anyway, not much has been happening, been walking with Nich & over my friends last night and I’m having my hair high-lighted tonight, thank god as it hasn’t been done for months & months & is in total need of something being done to it.

I’ve stuck to the diet totally since weigh-in, well, I’m normally fine at home, it’s just at weekends. I’m determined to stick to it this weekend too, although I will most probably be cooking for Allan as he’ll be doing more decking, so I have to be determined not to pick at what I’m cooking, have to remain strong and think of how I strong I felt when I first started LL – easier said than done, but I have to try.

So, anyway, I’m happy I still had a loss as I wasn’t really expecting it after losing so much last week, which was totally out of the blue, so fingers crossed I can have another good loss next week. I must also get back on track to walking at weekends too, although I did walk to the shops & garage where normally I would have driven, so a bit of progress there. Also, hopefully going sloe picking this weekend too, so a bit of walking there.

1st October 2007 – Day 131

Had a lovely day on Friday, as it was a day off and after the week I’d had, it was well needed. Had a little lie-in, well, I was still out of the house by 7.30am to drop my time-sheet into the agency and then have a quick recki on where I was having my interview in the afternoon. Found it OK and then went home, where I set about cleaning the kitchen, then had my breakfast of a vanilla milkshake with coffee, which I have every day as I love them, never thought I’d say that about diet food, but I do.

The night before my friend who was now back from Los Angeles & Las Vegas, so we went out for our walking. Anyway, she gave me some clothes which she didn’t want anymore and there were two fabulous suits (one of which I wore to my interview) & some lovely trousers. The best bit though was when I got home I started to try them on and to be honest, didn’t think they’d fit as looked so small and some of the trousers were a size 14!!!!! But they did, I was so amazed and absolutely ecstatic, I can’t remember I’d worn that size, especially trousers.

It’s funny but I still see myself as big, I know my stomach is a lot flatter, hips smaller & boobs definitely a lot smaller, but I still see myself as wide.

Anyway, the interview went really well, it seemed such a lovely company to work for and the 2 guys that interviewed me were really nice & friendly. I went out of there feeling very positive, happy & I was smiling on the journey all the way down to Allan’s.

I didn’t think about the interview too much over the weekend as I didn’t want to get my hopes up too much (going by my track record in interviews lately), they also had a couple more people to see, and Allan & I were also busy with building the decking over the pond.

The deck has gone down brilliantly, it’s not finished yet, but Allan & I are so pleased with it. It’s definitely been worth the 3 year wait. I have taken some photos, but forgot to download/ reduce the size to put on here, I’ll try & do that at the weekend as I seem to be lacking in photos lately.

On Sunday, when we’d packed up for the day I got the garden chair out, put it on the deck and sat there reading my book, with my bottle of water and wrapped up in a blanket as it was freezing!!! I couldn’t stay out there too long as I just got so cold (I seem to be really feeling the cold lately), but I was determined to sit on the deck…..

Anyway, had a good weekend, I cut up one of my bars so that if I had the nibbles they were there waiting, although admittedly I did nibble a little as I was cooking for Allan (lunch & dinner, on both days). No excuse really, but at least it wasn’t as bad as last weekend, so a bit of an improvement. I had said to myself that after last weekends nibbling when cooking that I wouldn’t be cooking again, but he was working so hard and was so tired & achy in the evening that I thought it wasn’t really fair for him to then start cooking. When the deck has finished, I will not do anymore cooking, but I really must get my act together over this nibbling!!!

27th September 2007 – Day 127 – 18th Weigh-In

Can’t believe I haven’t posted for over a week, but it’s been so busy here at work due to the new intakes of students and getting all their forms & details loaded onto the databases. It still hasn’t finished yet, but had to post due to weigh-in the other night. I also started writing this yesterday when everything hit the fan at work with regard to the sort of additional role I’ve taken on. The woman running the course is putting so much stuff on me that even my boss wouldn’t be doing, let along a temp!! I got so angry that it actually made me cry (I very, very rarely cry at work), not in the office, I could feel it coming on and rushed off to the loos and then was walking around outside. When my boss got back from her meeting with her boss, she spent ages talking to me and knows that I’ve never flown off the handle & realised that this was quite serious as it’s been building for a long time now. My bosses spent all afternoon dealing with this for me and will continue to monitor everything, so I feel so much better.

Anyway, back to weigh in. I was convinced I’d put on or hadn’t lost anything as this weekend I’ve felt like I’ve really struggled. I’d been nibbling when I was cooking for Allan & even had a rice pringle (only one), but just seemed to be in a really picky mood. I was quite annoyed at myself for doing it, but I just didn’t seem to be able to stop. My Mum thought it could be because I was down about my job, as I was very down when we were walking on Monday. Also, Allan has given up smoking, which he’s doing really well at, but he’s eating lots of nice things, so that’s not really helping, but I’m just so glad he’s given up. I have come up with a plan of either making biscuits out of bars or the crisps, or cutting up the new bars, which are fab by the way, into little sections so if I do get the nibbles, they are there waiting for me. Hopefully this’ll work.

Well, got weighed on Tuesday and I lost 5.28lbs, (total 68.22lbs) which I was astounded at, but so pleased. I won’t get complacent though this weekend, as I’m now 2lbs away from my 5 stone loss, which means I’ve only got another 2.5 stone to go….YAY. I didn’t quite sink in at the class that I was so close to losing 5 stone until I was out of class and on my way to Mum & Dad’s, it was his birthday, so wanted to pop over, and it nearly made me cry when it finally occurred to me…….I seem to have had a bit of an emotional week so far!!!

I’ve got the day off work tomorrow as I have another job interview (didn’t get the last one), then I can go straight down to Allan’s after that, which means I’ll miss all the traffic on the M4.

Hopefully, the weather will be lovely as we’re finally laying the deck, so will be busy doing that, well, I’ll be helping out. I say finally as the structure for the wood has been down for at least 3 years, so it’s been a long time in coming, fingers crossed we’ll get some wood down.

Must dash, just off to a meeting.

19th September 2007 – Day 119

I was very pleased at weigh-in last night as I lost 1.1lbs (total 62.94lbs) so am just a smidgen off my 4.5stone loss….YAY!!

This was good as I was a little worried after the nibbles I tried at the County show I went too, even though it was just protein, I didn’t try any of the bread/dips etc. Also, I noticed on my water chart this week that on quite a few days I’d only just managed to drink 4 litres of water, whereas normally I’m guzzling 5 to 5½ litres a day.

There weren’t many in the class last night but we were discussing how the emotion Anger, can make you feel hungry, seemed strange as I haven’t felt this at all, but one lady in the class could relate to it and said that after she’d been angry she felt really hungry; so I think I’ll have to look out for this emotion.

When I got home I rang Mum with my loss for this week (I always ring her after each class), then had my soup & then set about making my blackberry & apple jelly.

It went so well and I must admit I did get a little carried away with the tasting, so will have to watch this in future and make sure I only try it a once; but it did taste wonderful and I’m really looking forward to giving these away as gifts. I had a little left over, which I poured into a small jar for my sister to try, which she did today. She said it tasted lovely, not too sweet, good jelly consistency & spread well on toast. So, my first venture into jam/jelly making was a success.

I’ve now found a recipe for Chilli Apple Jelly, which goes with pork according to Anthony Worrel-Thompson (as it’s his recipe), so I think I’ll be making this at the weekend to use up the rest of the apples (another thing for the Christmas hamper).

Anyway, I’m off out walking with Mum tonight straight from work, then I’ll be going straight over to my friends for the evening.

18th September 2007 – Day 118

Well, I couldn’t get my blood pressure test done last night as the chemist was very short staffed & she said to come back tomorrow, so I’ll be off there again tonight, fingers crossed I’ll be able to get it OK as it’s weigh-in later too.

So I trundled back home and started making my blackberry & apple jelly. I’d never made anything like this before, so was quite excited. My friend’s mum has lent me her preserving pan, so I cut up the apples, which one of my colleagues at work had given me, chucked in the blackberries, added the water and stuck it on the stove.

While this was heating up I sorted out my jars, which friends & I had been collecting for months now. I had a nice assortment ready for the jelly and another lot of jars for my blueberry & lime jam, which I’ll be making next week. These are now all ready to be sterilised this evening.

I had a stand ready, which held the muslin to strain the juice and poured this in when all the fruit was mushy and left it overnight to strain.

I can’t wait to get home tonight after weigh-in & class to finish off the next stage, which is making it into jelly. So, the first of my mini hamper gifts for Christmas are nearly done YAY!!.

I also did lots of bouncing on my mini trampoline last night, to hopefully combat the little nibbles I did at the show on Saturday, so hopefully I’ll have lost something tonight.

I had my interview this morning. It seemed a nice enough company, but even though I’ve lost nearly 4½ stone and my confidence is coming back, I’m still pretty crap in interviews. Even if I’ve done loads of re-search on the company, as soon as I get asked questions I seem to just go blank! I had prepared answers to some questions they may have asked me and these seemed to go OK, but I don’t think I came across all that great. Oh well, I’ll just have to wait & see.

17th September 2007 – Day 117

I’ve been very lax on posting this week, but nothing much happened after my last weigh-in and then the Saturday I was out all day.

Last Thursday I was supposed to have had a job interview for Admin/PA, but this was postponed last minute as the interviewer went home ill, so I’d got myself all prepared & then nothing. Oh well, it’s been rearranged for tomorrow morning, so, we’ll have to see how that goes. I normally get quite nervous in interviews and don’t sell myself very well, although now I have a bit more confidence so hopefully that’ll come across more this time.

Friday night, my parents & sister came down to Allan’s to stay the night as we were off to the Newbury County Show the next day and were leaving at 7 to 7.30am!!! For dinner a Chinese takeaway was ordered and whilst they had this, I had my Thai Chilli soup, I didn’t even pick at any of the food, even though it smelt gorgous.

On Saturday, we set off early to the show, which is huge and we got parked right near the entrance. We’d also got there in time to see the mass hot-air balloon launch, which was great and took a few photos. They also do a mass launch early evening, but we’ve always missed it. We had a great time and spent all day wandering round loads of different stalls.

I’d come prepared with bottles of water and had made up crisps to have when the others stopped for lunch. I had already decided beforehand that when we got to the food tent, I would try samples, but only protein, most of this though ended up being small samples of different flavoured sausages, which were delicious and a bit of smoked chicken & a couple of pieces of bacon. I steered well clear of trying any dips, relishes, biscuits, sweets & cakes. I had already warned my lot about this, just in case they decided to have a go at me or worry when they saw me trying things.

It was a baking hot day and I really noticed the difference from last year (as it was a hot day last year too). I wasn’t sweaty, uncomfortable and by 4pm my feet were only just starting to ache. The same time last year my feet were aching so badly. I also had my pedometer on me and by the time we’d left the show I’d done over 21,000 steps!!!!!

After we’d left Mum, Dad & sister came back for a BBQ and we cooked some of the sausages we’d just bought and again I did have another little sample of each flavour as I know that Allan would eat the others quite quickly (we’ll have to order some more when I’m back to eating), I then just stuck to my soup. I didn’t have my fourth foodpack though as I wasn’t hungry and thought this might compensate for the little samples I had at the show.

Sunday, we had a nice long lie in and really didn’t do much else as we were so tired from the day before. It was a nice day though, just relaxing.

Today, as been busy as we had the new intake of student nurses, so I was directing them on where they had to go next and generally making sure they were OK. Time flew by and it was nice walking around and not sitting at a desk, which I normally do. I even managed to drink 3 litres of water before 12 noon!!

A buffet lunch was provided but I didn’t eat any, just drank more water and then went back to the office to make up a mushroom soup.

It’s my monthly blood pressure test tonight, so I’m having that done straight from work, then its home to start making my blackberry & apple jelly, which I’m really looking forward to doing.

Hope you all had good weekend.

12th September 2007 – Day 112 – 15th Weigh-In

Had a really good WI last night, which I wasn’t expecting as I had a big loss last week, but I lost another 3.74lbs (61.84lbs in total), which now brings me down to 13st 2lbs.

This, I think, is the lowest weight I’ve been at for 4½ years (I think I was a bit heavier than this when I met Allan). So, I’m in line to reach my mini target of 4½ stone loss by the end of September. The thing I’m more excited about though is I’m nearly there to break another stone barrier and get into the 12 stone somethings!!!!

The class last night was really nice & we were talking about if we have more confidence in ourselves, which I am getting. I’m still quite quiet and don’t like speaking in groups much, but I am getting better. The LLC was also saying about how, when she was larger, she would never say no if anyone asked her to do things she didn’t want to or put more work on her etc. I know that I’m normally like this, as I don’t like to upset anyone by saying no/ tip the applecart. It seems that most of the ladies in the group were like this when they were large, it’s like we have to please everyone to be accepted or we were too afraid to say no because they wouldn’t be friends with us anymore. I can really empathise with this as I’m still like it in a way, although I am sticking up for myself more. A lot of the ladies have said that they have grown in confidence as the weight comes off, they feel more accepted, which is wrong I know, because everyone should be accepted no matter what they look like, but I suppose we all make judgements.

Tonight I’m over my friend’s house, I normally go each week, but haven’t been able to go over for a few, so I’m looking forward to it. My other friend Nich is off on holiday tomorrow to Los Angeles & Las Vegas. She has family in Los Angeles but has never been to Vegas before, so I’ve been filling her in on what to do, where to go as I’ve been 3 times and love it. I hope she loves it too, but I did warn her that my first reaction to arriving in Vegas was ‘Oh my God! I’ve got to spend a week here’. I thought it was just so tacky & not the sort of place I’d like to stay. But, the first night, we walked into the Venetian and thought ‘WOW!’ & from that moment on, Vegas grew on me, so I’m looking forward to hearing how they got on & seeing her photos.

Anyway, best get back to work, it’s been so busy here as being a university we’re getting ready for the new intake of students on Monday.

10th September 2007 – Day 110

I’ve been starting to get a variety of reactions to my weight loss recently, the most bizarre of which was that ‘I looked weird’ from one of the guys at work. My reaction was ‘Oh thanks!’ and laughed when all the girls in my office piped up with ‘how can you say weird, typical man’. He did a serious amount of back tracking saying he meant weird in a good way, not a bad way. I did say to him this was probably because you’ve only ever known me as big’. I suppose, going by my before & half-way photos, I can see what he means.

Also today, one of the girls in my office, who’s been off sick & then on holiday for the last month said how much I’d changed and that I was looking quite petite now. I was quite amazed as I’ve never been called petite in my life or even thought of myself as a petite person. I suppose though, if I do actually get down to my goal of 9 stone something, going by my Mums frame, I could be quite small. Still can’t get my head round this though.

The weekend was good, although only got out for one of my early morning walks, as Saturday, we went early to the fabulous farm shop to get some meat for Allan to BBQ, and then we took Barney swimming. I can’t actually remember what we did for rest of the day, so it couldn’t have been that exciting, probably just everyday stuff.

Sunday I went on my early morning walk, came back & had my vanilla latte, then we set about the front garden. I was de-weeding the lawn & then went round on my hands & knees getting all the weeds out that were growing against the house & in between the block paving. This took hours as there were so many and I still have a bit more to do in the drive, but its all clear round the house. Then I was spraying weed killer round the house, sweeping up and was really pleased with my efforts and must admit, it looked good, so much better. This morning though the backs of my thighs & bum are really aching.

While I was doing this, Allan cut the grass, then washed both cars, so it was a very productive morning.

After lunch, we went blackberry picking, well tried. Allan drove us up to where he thought there would be loads, but there were no brambles at all, tons & tons of sloe trees, so I know where to get these for making sloe gin. We did a nice bit of off-roading, so when we got home his car didn’t look like it had just been cleaned and then popped up to Barbury Castle to have a quick wander round & let Barney have a good sniff. We did spot loads of elderberries, so have just had a quick look on the internet to see what I can make with these. I found quite a few recipes so may go picking next Sunday.

When we were nearly home, I spotted a whole load of blackberry bushes, teaming with berries, literally a 2 minute walk from Allan’s house. Couldn’t believe it. So as soon as we got home I grabbed my tub and set off to finally pick berries. Got a nice tub full & now, with the ones I picked last week, that are in the freezer, I think I’ve got enough to start making my jams. Can wait, but I’ve never made jam before so hope it turns out OK; otherwise I’ll have to re-think Christmas presents.

Tonight I'm off out walking with my Mum, which I haven't done for a while now since the LL class has changed days, so I'm really looking forward to that.

7th September 2007 – Day 107

My friend & I had a fabulous evening last night at our pamper evening. It’s such a good way to try out different things without the expense as each treatment only costs £5.

My first treatment of the evening was threading. When I went to the pamper evening a couple of months ago I was watching it being done, it was absolutely fascinating. Now having PCOS, I do have a bit of hair growing under my chin, that I’ve tried to get rid of with electrolysis, which didn’t work, so I normally end up shaving it off or having it waxed every now & then. Threading is supposed to be a bit kinder to the skin than waxing, so I thought I’d give it a go. Yes, it still hurt a bit when she did under the chin, not half as bad as having electrolysis though, & it didn’t hurt at all when she did my eyebrows. Good news too, the beauty salon she works in is not far from me at all, so I will definitely give it another go.

My next treatment was a mini hand peel, which used a lovely scrub, some stuff that looked like butter, which was fabulous & she massaged the hands while rubbing this in, then a hand cream. My hands still feel lovely & soft now.

While I was having these done my friend had reflexology, which I want to try next time and a back massage.

I’ve just asked Nich whether the reflexology tickled as she has very ticklish feet & so do I, but apparently it doesn’t. She said it’s a very firm pressure which felt really nice and if there was a problem i.e. not drinking enough water, it showed up in the kidney area of your foot and it was a little tender but not actually painful (she certainly won’t get that with me with the amount of water I drink). She was really amazed at what the lady picked up on as Nich didn’t tell her anything and she said this morning, she woke up without ear ache for the first time in 18 months!!

We then watched a make-up demonstration of the new Virgin Vie products (forgot to mention, this is organised by Virgin Vie consultants, so all products used are from this range) and after this I had my last treatment of the evening which was a mini facial. This was absolutely fabulous and so relaxing; I really didn’t want it to stop & was a great way to round off the evening. While I was having this done, Nich had the mini hand peel.

So, a great way to celebrate my 4 stone loss and I’m really looking forward to the next one.

I've just realised, it didn't even occur to me to treat myself with a foodie reward for reaching a goal, which in the past I would have done. I'd have thought, as I'm sure everyone does, I've done so well, I deserve a cake/ chocolate etc., but since being on LL, I haven't rewarded myself with food, another first. Nich, is so great at this though; I don't mean rewarding with food, I mean she always gets me a little pressie when I reach a target. For my 4 stone, last night she gave me a fabulous make-up power/foundation, which is so light on the skin and is really natural. I'm wearing it now and it's so quick & easy to use, so thank you again Nich.

Anyway, hope you all have a good weekend.

5th September 2007 – Day 105 – 15th Weigh In

Had my second Development class last night and it was much better this time, probably because there weren’t as many there, only 8 of us and 4 were from my old class. We were talking more as a group this time too instead of our own little groups.

Well, this weigh in was much better than last weeks as I lost 4.62lbs (total 58.1 lbs), which means I’ve now done my 4 stone loss…..YAY. It’s actually 4st 1lb by the LLCs scales but the weight I go from it is 4st 2lbs. This is because when I had my induction I was 17st 8lbs (as she weighed me then), but when I started the next day I weighed 17st 7lbs, so that’s why there’s a little difference, I don’t care though as it’s still a 4 stone loss. I am so pleased.

It’s actually come at the right time as my friend & I are going to another pamper evening tomorrow night and Lesley, we don’t go round in large nappies, although that has now put very strange images in my head. Last time we did this it coincided with my 2 stone loss (actually I thought it was only last month and I’d just got to my 3 stone loss and have just flicked back through the blog, how time flies). I’m really looking forward to it. We are also walking to the place, instead of driving, unless it’s chucking it down as we don’t want to arrive looking like drowned rats!!

I haven’t done as much walking this week, but I have dug my mini trampoline out and have been bouncing around at home loads of times throughout the day, at least 3 to 5 times. I must refer back to my list of goals for September though.

Also, after Lesley’s post about blackberry picking, I went out on Monday and picked lots. Still need loads more so I’ve said to Allan we’ll have to go out at the weekend and he has to come with me to reach the high ones. There were some lovely ones up high, but just out of reach and I could imagine if I’d tried for them, I’d have ended up face first in the brambles.

I've just put my ticker on and for the first time my loss is greater than my 'to go', that feels good.

3rd September 2007 – Day 103

I can’t believe I’ve now gone over 100 days, I didn’t think I’d make this with only one little slip up, I thought I’d be good for say a few weeks and as normal, with other diets, start to cheat, but I haven’t.

As I’m now in development and with no fixed date on when I’ll be joining Route to Management I thought I’d make little mini targets/ goals to aim for. I thought I’d do them for a month at a time and also achievable ones, so I don’t feel disappointed if I don’t reach them and if I do reach or surpass them, then that will encourage me to keep going.

So, here goes September’s list: -

* Stick to the LighterLife diet for the whole of September without any cheating whatsoever.

* To reach a total loss of 4 ½ stone by the end of this month.

* Drink at least 4 but preferably 5 litres of water a day.

* Keep up with the walking at least 3 times a week and do more exercise at home.

* Have my wardrobe sorted out with my smaller clothes and to have either given my friend or charity shop all my big clothes by the end of this month.

* Sort out all the junk that has accumulated in my car (and there is a lot) so I have a nice clean car. Also wash it more regularly (I can’t remember the last time I washed it).

* Do more housework, which will keep me active and not sitting around watching TV all the time.

These seem pretty achievable to me and they are not all diet orientated but things that need to be done, so I hope this will encourage me to get up off my not quite so fat backside.

I have already started on all of these, well, as yesterday I washed the car and no, the dirt wasn’t holding it together, it’s still standing and I’ve already started to de-clutter my whole bedroom & wardrobe.

This morning I got out my mini trampoline and was bouncing around for ages. I got it last year and only used it a few times and then I got too heavy for it, so it’s been sat in the garage ever since. I really enjoyed it and found it so much easier, so I’ll probably be bouncing when I go home for lunch and then again in the evenings.

My 100th day, last Friday, I had the day off as I had to wait in for the gas man as the meter needed changing, but he arrived pretty early, which left me with most the morning free. I went over to see Dad and to pick up my vehicle docs as someone reversed into my car and broke the number plate, luckily while I was still sitting in the car at the time and he’s going to pay for a new one. I then went down to Allan’s nice and early to miss the traffic.

We didn’t really do that much this weekend, but on Saturday we were out shopping and then had to measure out the deck frame to find out how much wood was needed In the evening we went up to Barbury Castle so Barney could have a little wander and sniff.

Sunday we took some friends who’d come down from Liverpool up to Barbury Castle again, can you tell this is one of our favourite places? I also took my kite up and spent quite a while flying this, it was such great fun and I did loads of running around to pick the kite off the floor and launch it again. I found the running much easier this time, so it must be starting to pay off!!

We then took them for a drive round the countryside and then it was back home for Sunday lunch, while I had my soup. I didn’t feel deprived although I was a little put out when a place wasn’t set for me as it was presumed I wouldn’t sit at the table with them. I feel it’s important to sit at a table normally and not to shut myself away, I didn’t want the food and sitting there with food in front of me wasn’t torture, I wanted to join in with the conversation instead of feeling excluded, which is what would have happened.

After lunch, instead of just flopping out in front of the TV, which is what would have happened in the past, Allan and I washed my car, which took quite a while as it hasn’t been washed for such a long time, definitely not this year. Next weekend we’re going to get some stronger shampoo as we couldn’t get all the sap resin off, so we’ll be washing cars again and polish it as well, it won’t know what’s hit it. Then the next job for my car is to sort it out and get rid of the junk that in there.

After this, we then did flop in front of the TV and watched a really good DVD called The Guardian about the US Coastguard Sea Rescue service. I also had a soup and then made coffee ice-cream, but I ate it straight away instead of putting it in the freezer and it was just like Angel Delight, fabulous. Lesley, I hope your ice cream turned out OK, if you tried it.

That’s about it I think, I’m off to do some work now and then catch up on every one else’s blogs. Hope you all had a good weekend.

29th August 2007 – Day 98 – 14th Weigh In

Well, I had my first class in Development last night and I was really nervous. I think this was down to new people there and it wasn’t just my little group anymore. I got there early and all the other ladies were chatting amongst themselves and I was the first one of my group to arrive. I began to wonder if any of them would turn up, but thankfully one did, which put me much more at ease and then eventually another arrived, so we were chatting in our own little group.

It took an age to get everyone weighed as there were 11 of us. My weigh in was not good this week as I only lost 0.66lbs, but that’s better than nothing or putting it on, so I now only have 3lbs to go to my 4 stone, which hopefully, if I stick to the diet 100% (and I know I’m going to do that this week) I should reach my 4 stone mini target by next week. This has taught me a lesson in cheating and I think I’m going to sit down and re-read my goals I put in the green book and read some of the chapters again to re-focus myself, although this small loss has made me more determined. I’m still really happy though as I’m wearing size 16 jeans and I can’t remember the last time I wore jeans in this size!!!

When everyone had been weighed our LLC got everyone to introduce themselves, although I can’t remember any of their names at all, it took me forever to remember them in my own little class, let alone this amount of people!! Quite a few of them had lost 5½ stone, which is really encouraging and one lady had lost 8 stone and still wants to lose another stone…….she looked amazing, I’d love to see her before photos.

All the ladies in the group seemed really nice and I was a bit worried that all the chat would be about food, but it wasn’t, so I was quite pleased about this, especially after my little blip at the weekend. We didn’t learn anything new, but going by Mrs L’s guide to Development you don’t really, it’s mainly chatting about how you’ve got on in the week and I suppose, if anyone is struggling, then helping them get through it.

I’m really hoping that I’m not in this class for too long though, although it’ll most probably be at least until November/ December time and then I’ll be at my goal weight, although I’m not going to set myself a deadline, I’ll just have to see how it goes. It would be great to be at goal weight by the New Year though.

Good news on the diet front for Allan. My friend (Allan’s neighbour) said to me at the weekend that they were talking to Allan and it came up that when they come back from holiday (which will be next week) they need to lose some weight and Allan actually replied that yes, he needs to lose weight too!! I can’t quite remember if she said that he’s going to start dieting/ cutting down, but hopefully he will soon as he’s now acknowledged that he needs to do something.

Allan also told our friends about the clothes I’d been given from the lady in my class and he actually said that I looked ‘Stunning’. My friend made a point of telling me this as she knew Allan wouldn’t, so that and the fact that he’s acknowledged that he needs to lose weight absolutely made my day.

One thing I did discover over the weekend was ICE CREAM!!! Why oh why didn’t I try making this earlier. I made a chocolate with a bit of Fruits of the Forest flavouring (I think I over did it a bit on the flavouring but it was still nice) and then I made a strawberry one, which was delicious. It made a decent size bowl full and took me ages to eat and I was so full up at the end of it. I’m going to try coffee flavour next (vanilla milkshake pack with instant coffee) as I adore coffee ice cream, can’t wait.

28th August 2007 – Day 97

As you can see, I’ve scanned my end of 14 weeks foundation photos on. I’m calling the after photos my half-way pics as when I get to my 4 stone loss, I’ve got about another 3.5 to 4 stone to go. The before is even more hideous than my own before photos and I now have them stuck on my fridge so I see them every time I use the front door.

Had a really good weekend, but had my first cheat since starting LL, which I’m not happy about, but it also goes to show me that I’m not sailing through this and also just how easily I slipped back into my sneaky eating ways. I’m really annoyed at myself because I so wanted to do this without any cheating what so ever, but as the saying goes, you learn by your mistakes!

It was only because this pudding had been left out of the fridge uncovered (I was fine when it was covered or in the fridge) and I was alone in the kitchen that I decided to cut some off. I did cut the slice so thinly though that it was crumbling up, but I did this probably about 3 or 4 times, so if totalled up, it probably ended up as a small slice. I’m not trying to justify what I did in saying it was a really, really thin slices as I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, but I really hope I haven’t put any weight on, although if I do, that’ll certainly teach me a lesson.

One good thing, Allan did catch me and I stopped and covered it over again and have got straight back onto the diet. If he hadn’t caught me, I might have thought I’d got away with it and tried it again another time.

Anyway, I’ll put this behind me and I’m straight back onto the diet, although this is a short week between weigh-ins as we get weighed tonight instead of Wednesday, as tonight will be my first class in Development. I’ll be reading up on Mrs L’s guide to Development shortly.

I didn’t do too much walking this weekend, but I did help Allan with building a small window of glass blocks in his Mum’s garage and I did do a lot of dancing around to the radio. I was also doing arm exercises whilst holding a block in each hand & also waist exercises, which I could certainly feel yesterday, so I wasn’t just sitting around.

Another good thing, today, I’m wearing a size 16 top & a size 16 pair of jeans!!!!! And I feel fab. Last night I also tried on the pair of sparkly jeans that my friend gave me a couple of weeks ago, which are a size 16 and were a bit tight, but they fit lovely now, so that’s cheered me up.

Anyway, I’m going to be catching up on all of your blogs soon, although I’d better do a bit of work in between. Hope you all had a great weekend.

23rd August 2007 – Day 91 – 13th Weigh In

Had a really fabulous weigh-in last night and I lost 3.08lbs (total 52.8lbs) so in total I’ve lost 3stone 10lbs and my weight is now 13stone 11lbs. I was jigging around like a loony when I realised this, I was just so pleased to get to the next stone bracket. I’m still the only one in my class to have reached the 3 stone mark, but no one seemed disappointed in what they’d lost, which was a good thing I think.

I also got measured and again last night and the inches really seems to be coming off me now

The total inches I’ve lost so far are: -

7¼” from my chest
7¼” from my waist
8” from my hips

22nd August 2007
Chest: 43 ¾”
Waist: 36 ½”
Hips: 45 ¾”

18th July 2007
Chest: 47”
Waist: 39”
Hips: 48”

20th June 2007
Chest: 48”
Waist: 40 ½”
Hips: 50 ½”

23rd May 2007
Chest: 51 ½”
Waist: 43 ¾”
Hips: 53 ¼”

As it was our last class before we head off into Development (actually, we’ll all still be together as we’re all going to the same Development class, so that’ll be great) we had to do a drawing of a field separated by a river. One side was to show where we are now, the other side was to show where we want to be, which we had to depict in drawing, writing or symbols. The river represented the barrier stopping us from achieving our goal. We then had to draw a way of crossing this river, i.e. stepping stones, boat, bridge, stuff like that.

Our next task was to put our names at the top of a piece of paper and pass it round the circle. Each time it was passed, that person had to put something they like/ positive about that person whose name was at the top. When it got back to me I had some really lovely comments, which I’ll keep.

After this, we were given our before & after photos, which was great to see, even though I already have my before picture. This one though was even more hideous than the one on this blog, so I’ll be scanning it in at the weekend and I’ll put it on here for you to see. It was great actually seeing all the other girls photos as we’d grown accustomed to each other, so seeing these pictures reminded us of how far we’d all come.

I also had another bag of clothes from the same lady that gave them to me last time, which are absolutely fabulous. Now normally, I usually buy my clothes from M&S (normally the £5 3 for 2 t-shirts), or from Sainsburys, places like that, but these are from Monsoon, Wallis, John Rocha, they are fantastic. I was up till 11pm last night just trying them on and then I was so excited it took me ages to get off to sleep!! I could get into all the size 18s and there were even some size 16s, some of which, surprisingly enough, I could fit into and they felt great, not tight at all. Some of the size 16 trousers were a bit tight, but they won’t be for long.

So, a fantastic evening was had and next week, I’ll be in Development, even though my 100 days doesn’t come to an end until the 31st August.

21st August 2007 - Day 90...!!!!! Blood Pressures

Just a quick post as I have loads of work to do but wanted to post something on my 90th day, which I still can't believe as it's just flown past.

Anyway, in my last weigh-in I got my blood pressure reading from when I first went to the doctors before I started LL (don't know if this is particularly high or not, but it seems it, compaired to what it is now. I've listed them down so I have a record, although I've just noticed I haven't made a note of my second BP test, must get that at weigh-in tomorrow.

23.05.07 - 150/92
18.07.07 - 107/82
13.08.07 - 105/82 (112/83 on the other arm)

I'm also looking forward to getting myself measured tomorrow too, hopefully I've dropped a bit more, I think so, but it's always nice to get it confirmed. We also get given our before & after photos, so I'll get these scanned in at the weekend and post them on here.

Thanks for your suggestions Lesley about jogging & breathing, I'll give that a go & hopefully it'll work for me.

20th August 2007 – Day 89

Had quite a good weekend, apart from the weather as it was really cold, wet & miserable, although I did managed to drag myself out of bed on Saturday for my walk/ learn to jog at 7.30am!! Sunday I didn’t bother as it was just too wet, so had a lie in instead.

On my walk round on Saturday, I did manage a bit more jogging than the time before, but I really can’t get my breathing right. I start off taking deep breaths in through my nose & out through my mouth, but very quickly I completely forget and I’m gasping for breath!! Think I’m going to have a look up on the internet to see if there’s a guide to jogging in easy steps!!

Didn’t really do much this weekend though, apart from wandering round Wickes & B&Q twice on Saturday, Screwfix on Saturday & Sunday and Wickes again on Sunday. Now I must assure you I really don’t have a fetish for hanging round DIY shops, although I think my other half does, especially after this weekend!!

Allan did actually have a purpose for going, although I don’t think we quite needed to go to all of them, it’s definitely a man thing!! He did need to replace a valve in the water tank in the loft, then decided he wanted a push button flush for the toilet. The only reason why I went to B&Q the second time was that they had a toilet as by then he’d broken the flush unit, I was then subjected to the joys of Wickes again. Oh what fun I had…….

Anyway, this weekend I actually did some cooking, it was no nouvelle cuisine mind you. I’ve been sort of avoiding doing this since starting LL, which for me was quite easy as I don’t have children and Allan fends for himself at weekends. But I thought I’d cook for him as he’d been working really hard and he’d probably be spending most of Sunday doing it too (which he did). I was actually really looking forward to it and made him jacket potatoes, which I hollowed out into a bowl, added bacon, mushroom, sweetcorn & spring onion (which I’d already cooked, apart from the spring onion), mixed it all together with half-fat crème fraiche (I was quite amazed he’d agreed to this as he wanted full fat cream), then put the mixture back into the jackets, sprinkled with grated cheese & popped it under the grill. It looked lovely and he really enjoyed it.

Sunday, I cooked roast lamb, with rosemary & garlic, roasted some vegetables and potatoes. I did try a tiny piece of lamb, which, if I say so myself, tasted fabulous (this could be because I’ve only had food packs, so anything could taste fab at the moment) but it was really tender and moist. I’d never cooked lamb before so was really pleased with my efforts and Allan finished off the whole lot (it was only a tiny bit of lamb, not a huge joint).

One other thing that came out at the weekend was that he was saying how well I’ve be doing on LL, but he didn’t think he could commit to this sort of diet due to his work. He has to travel up & down the country a lot and couldn’t commit to going to a class on a set night in the week, as he wouldn’t know where he’ll be from one week to the next. I did say about cutting down though and drinking more water and coming out walking with me (when his ankle is better). So, it looks like he has been thinking about losing some weight, which is what I really hope he does, not for looks as that doesn’t worry me, but for his health. So, I maybe getting there with him, slowly but surely......a mini breakthrough!!

Last Thursday, my friend gave me a fabulous present for getting to 3.5 stone, which was put to use straight away, but she also did this fab sign, which she stuck to the pressie bag. If I get the chance I’ll scan this in so I can put it on here, it did make me laugh. I have it stuck on my fridge at the moment and it makes me smile every time I pass it.

She also gave me a pair of her jeans that she didn’t want anymore that had patterns embroidered with sequins on them. I’ve never had a pair of sparkly jeans before, I just normally went for the basic, stretchy ones from M&S but these are lovely. Anyway, they’re a size 16, which I thought I’d be able to wear in a couple of months time, seeing as I’d only just got into my size 18 pair. Well, I tried them on and I could get them done up (without having to lie on the bed), OK, they were tight round the bum & legs, but I think I’d be able to wear them in about 3 weeks time, good job I didn’t put them away for a few months.

15th August 2007 – Day 85 – 12th Weigh In

Had an OK weight loss last night as I’d lost 2.42lbs (total 49.72lbs & I'm now 14 stone, so hopefully I'll be 13 stone something next week!!), so I wasn’t disappointed as I’ve now lost a total of 3.5 stone and my BMI is now 34.8, so it’s all good. Funnily enough, all the ladies in the class had a bit of a low loss this week, I blame the weather!! Also, I didn’t drink as much water this week as I normally do; I’d only done 5 litres on 1 day. I think I’ll be trying to get back to drinking 5 litres most days this week.

I’ve still got to the 31st August till my 100 days, so including today, I’ve got 16 days to get near to the 4 stone (notice I wrote near, I’m not focussing so much on actually reaching 4 stone now).

I also thought back to what Nich had written last week when I was a bit disappointed, so focussed on how far I’d come and how much better I feel about myself; the most important of which was that I actually like what I see now in the mirror.

We also had my after photo taken last night, and yes, I did have my little fashion show of tops for Mum and we’d decided on the slinkiest. I hope it shows up in the photos, which we get given next week. I was thinking about getting measured again as I only do this every month, so I should of had it done last night; but thought I’d leave it till next week instead.

One lovely surprise was that the lady who joined LL to lose weight to get married came back to see us, she’d only been back in the country for a few days so was a bit jet lagged. She’s now at her goal weight, so will be going into Management, whilst the rest of us are joining Development. She did say how much she wants to stick with our group and not join other people, which I think goes to show how much we’ve bonded as a group, we all get on so well. Anyway, she’d also brought in her photos from her wedding in Jamaica. She looked absolutely stunning, and the place looked gorgeous. She did so well too and only put on 1 pound with 3 weeks away, so there’s hope for us all……

This morning when I got up, I decided to go through my wardrobe for my smaller sized jeans. My size 22s were getting so baggy now and not just around my waist; they’re baggy round my bum & thighs!! So, I dug out my old jeans that had dust on them as they hadn’t been worn for over 4 years. I know this because I last wore my black ones when I first met Allan, which is nearly 4½ years ago. These are a size 18 (well, they actually say 16, but I bought them in the US, so really they’re an 18) and they all fitted fantastically, apart from the green pair, which are a tad tight, so hopefully I’ll be in these in a few weeks time. This means I’ve dropped 2 dress sizes, how fab is that!! I’ll now be getting my big jeans washed & ready to give to my friend, although I am keeping one pair to remind me of what size I got too and to shame me into not doing it again.

I’ve decided that I must do my walking at weekends and not be lazy like I was last weekend. I don’t think we have that much planned, so I think I’ll extend my walk to go a lot further round the village & I’ll do a bit more jogging too.

There’s a show on the BBC at 7pm called The One Show and last night they had a report claiming that walking actually burns more fat than jogging. They did this experiment with identical twins, who weighed the same, where they had to wear this apparatus & mask, which took all sorts of readings. Then one had to jog & the other had to walk for one mile. When the readings came back the jogging burnt off more carbohydrate, but the walking actually burnt off more fat!! Anyway, the link is here if anyone is interested.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/theoneshow/article/2007/08/mm_walking.shtml

Mum & I went off walking last night and as Allan had popped in on his way home, I roped him in too. He did enjoy it, although he wasn’t dressed for it, as he still had his shirt & office trousers on, but he’d hurt his ankle last month and it started to hurt again during the walk. So we had to cut our walk short and I’ve told him he must go to the doctors to get it sorted out.

Tonight, I’m off walking again with Nich and I think we’ll probably try our long route again.

I've just noticed something with my ticker, I've now got 10lbs to go and I'll be half way there.....!!

15th August 2007 - Day 84

I had to have my blood pressure checked again last Monday (the normal LL monthly check) and it's still showing as normal. This lady checked both arms and when it was on my right arm it showed as 112/83 and my left showed 105/82, which the pharmacist said was normal, YAY. I wish I'd put down how high it was when I first went to the doctors. Actually, I think I'll ask my LLC tonight to see if she can give me the figures, if so, I'll post them on here.

Tonight at class, as I'll be going into my 13th week, I'm having my after photo taken. Seems strange as I'm carrying on with the diet, but what the heck. Although she has said that we won't be getting them till next week. OK, I know I already have my own before photos on here to shock me into carrying on with LL, but it'll be fun to see. I'm going to make sure I look nice, I'll be wearing my size 18 black trousers and I think I'll be sorting out tops with Mum later, before we go out walking, to see which one makes me look the slimmest.

Today I was out and about a bit at work. I had to go into Ealing for a bit of training, so I made up some crisps and had 2 litres of water to take with me and headed of via the train. I do quite enjoy going on the train as I don't get to do it that often, but I used to worry a bit when I was bigger, that the person I sat next too would be annoyed, as I thought I'd take up too much space. OK, I still felt like this to an extent today, but not half as much as before I started LL. I've also noticed this with cinema seats (the ones with the drinks holders), I can just sit in these easily and not worry about being too fat for them.

Anyway, I suppose I'd better get back to doing some work!!

13th August 2007 – Day 82

My 38GG hanging basket!!

Well, that’s another weekend gone, why do they just fly by when the week drags, oh well. As you can see by the photos, I got round to doing my hanging basket, what do you think?

Had a really nice weekend, although I didn’t do much walking, well apart from the normal wandering round shops & things. I didn’t make a point of getting up for my early morning walk with a little jogging (on last weekends walk I could do a bit more jogging), so I must make the effort next weekend.

On our wander round some shops I popped into Next, just to have a look round, I still wasn’t going to buy anything. Anyway, before I started LL I used to pop in there to try & find something to wear, which was pretty hard and I always thought people were looking at me thinking ‘What’s she doing in here, she’s far too fat for these clothes’ things like that, don’t know if anyone else thought the same? Actually, looking back on it, I felt the same in whatever clothes shop I went in. Anyway, I had my wander round and as I was walking out, it hit me, I hadn’t had that feeling that people were looking at me, I wasn’t too fat for these clothes anymore and it was SUCH a great feeling!

In the evening we were off to the pub for a meal with friends, so as normal, I got Allan to check to make sure it was OK for me to bring my food & if they can provide me with a bowl of hot water, which they were perfectly happy to do. I’d made my crisps, & had my savoury drinks with me & as I knew our friends & Allan would have a pudding I’d did my lemon biscuits.

I made a real effort to look good, I find I’m doing this more & more when I go out now. In the past, if we were off to the pub for a meal, I’d probably have still gone in my normal jeans & t-shirt. I wouldn’t have bothered too much with my hair, still worn my glasses & only had a bit of mascara on. But Saturday, I planned my outfit. I wore my black Monsoon trousers (that the lady from my class gave me, actually everything I wore that night was from her). These were the ones that were a bit snug when I first tried them on, but now they fit great. I also wore a gorgeous top & my sparkly sandals, with a heel (I’ve worn flats for so long now, it felt a bit strange) that my feet were too wide for a while ago. I felt really great and Allan said I looked really, really good. I felt a little dressed up when our friends husband arrived in shorts & t-shirt, but actually, I didn’t care, I was just so pleased that I looked good. I haven’t felt that way about myself for a long time.

It was a lovely pub; the food looked & smelt great and again I really didn’t feel deprived that I wasn’t having any. When they had their main course, the waiter brought out a lovely soup bowl of hot water on a plate, so it blended in with the other dishes on the table (hope that makes sense,) and I had my crisps & savoury drink. The puddings looked lovely too but again, I didn’t feel the need to have any, although I knew what I would have gone for if I was eating; a chocolate fudge brownie thing with chocolate sauce & ice cream mmmmm, which Allan had and looked lovely. I had my lemon biscuits and they were so lovely & chewy that the others had finished their desserts while I was still munching through them.

Sunday, we didn’t really do that much, had a nice lazy day. We did go up to Barbury Castle in the morning and wandered round a little. I made my hanging basket and then we decided to have a drive round the countryside trying to find pubs in the area that did good food. This was because the pub we were originally going to go to on Saturday was fully booked, so we had to find somewhere else, which obviously we did, but Allan had a complete blank on other pubs in the area.

It was a lovely afternoon and the countryside was gorgeous, we went through Avebury, Marlborough and loads of little villages that I can’t remember the names of. Found a few nice pubs and got their cards for our notice board, so hopefully we now won’t be stuck for a place to go.

This morning I was up and out to check on my little vegetable garden, which needs a good weed, so I’ll be doing that this evening, before my walk with Nich. I picked some French Beans and some Petit Pois pods, which I’m now freezing for when I’m back to eating again. Allan & Mum have already had some, so I thought I’d freeze them for myself now. I also noticed I have a few cucumbers growing, but I haven’t quite got the hang of my courgettes. My yellow cherry tomatoes & strawberries are lovely though.

Everything seems to be growing fine, so hopefully I’ll be digging up carrots, spring onions, beetroot & leeks in the not too distant future. Again, Mum & Allan will have some & I’ll freeze some for myself.

Tonight I’ve also got to have my blood pressure check again so I shall report on what it is tomorrow.

Anyway, think that’s enough waffling for now, hope you all had a good weekend.

9th August 2007 – Day 78 – 11th Weigh In

Had another good class last night, but honestly can’t remember what we were supposed to be talking about and what chart needs to be filled out. I think we were all just talking too much, so I’ll have to read up in my green handbook what we should be doing.

I think it was something about what we’ve mastered in the past, so for me that would have been my dancing & cake decorating and that we have to master this diet and into the future, mastering management and getting back to food. My LLC did say that this could take around a year or so to do & she thinks she’s just getting there now!

I do realise though that management and keeping the weight off is going to be forever and I’ll have to be constantly vigilant. What the mastering means though is that our eating and what choices we make will hopefully become second nature, we won’t need to think about it, just like driving a car was one of the examples she gave as I don’t need to think about what to do to get from A to B, I just do it. Hope that makes sense. See, I was paying attention really.

Anyway, I lost another 2.86lbs, which gives a total of 47.3lbs in total. I am really pleased with this, but couldn’t help feeling just a tiny bit disappointed, as I’d upped my water intake to 5 litres or over every day bar one and at this rate I won’t get to my mini target of 4 stone by the 100 days.

I e-mailed my friend this morning, who I go walking with and her reply nearly made me cry, as she is talking a lot of sense. I should focus on what I’ve achieved and how I feel, compared to how I used to look & feel, she’s very wise I think…..

I’ve put these e-mails on my blog (I did check with her first to make sure it was OK), so that if I’m feeling a little low, or don’t get to my mini target, I can read this to remind me, this isn’t about mini targets, it’s about how I feel, which is so much better than before I started LL.

My e-mail to Nich.

I lost another 2.86lbs last night, which now takes me down to 14st 2lbs (or maybe 14st 2.5lbs depending on which chart you look at. My online weight converter says 14st 2lbs, so I'm going with that one).

Anyway, I'm 2lbs off 3.5 stone......YAY. At this rate though I won't get to my mini 4st target by the 100 days, fingers crossed I will, or at least I'll be very nearly there.

I know I won't be that disappointed if I don't (OK, maybe a little) because I think, on what other diet could I have lost nearly 4 stone in just over 3 months!!!!

Nich’s reply

You should absolutely NOT be disappointed if you don't reach 4 stone in 100 days!!! You have done fantastically well and should be really proud and pleased of how well you've done, not disappointed for not doing better!! Forgetting the weight, think about how you feel now and how you felt before - all that back ache and not being able to walk up stairs without getting our of breath! Your blood pressure is normal again and you are no longer morbidly obese!! Think about how you look (boobs and belly!!!) - they are now separate and not all merging as one!! and the fact that so many of your clothes are too big for you now!

I think we all forget too quickly how bad we felt and how much has been achieved...don't play down your achievement. You look fantastic now, and wearing make up again which you haven't done for ages. It's more important to focus on the fact that you look and feel better than focussing on not quite achieving the total weight loss you hoped to.


Anyway, onwards & downwards!

I can’t believe I’m now in my 12th week, next week at class our LLC will be taking our after photos, so I’ll make sure I wear something really flattering, put my make up on & wear my contacts. I know I have my own before photos, but I’ll be making every effort to look as good as possible.

Hope you all have good weeks and thank you to all the comments, they really do spur you on.